When “Lean In” Language Holds Us Back

Nov 19

We’ve all heard the advice: Be confident. Ask for more. Lean in. But have you ever wondered if that kind of empowerment talk actually works or if it sometimes makes things worse?

New data show that these messages can backfire, leaving women more likely to blame themselves and less likely to push for the systemic change that would make a real difference.

This issue, we’ll look at what the research reveals about empowerment culture and why the “fix yourself” narrative might be holding us back.

🔍 The Problem with Empowerment Language

Writer and researcher Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez coined the term “the ambition penalty” to describe how women are penalized (socially, professionally, and financially) for doing exactly what empowerment culture tells them to do: ask for more.

O’Connell Rodriguez argues that the dominant narrative to feel confident, speak up, ask more, lean in frames women’s lack of progress as an individual failure rather than a systemic one. Empowerment advice becomes about what you must fix, rather than what must change.

📊 What the Data Show

A 2018 study on the cultural effects of Lean In found that when people were exposed to messages emphasizing individual empowerment, they became less supportive of systemic solutions and more likely to believe women were responsible for workplace inequality.

In other words, the more we internalize “if you just tried harder,” the less we push for the collective fixes that actually work, like pay transparency or parental leave. It’s not just frustrating; it’s exhausting.

As O’Connell Rodriguez notes, when women are told that confidence and self-optimization alone can close gender gaps, they become less likely to pursue collective change and more likely to internalize bias as personal failure.

💭 Why This Matters

My work has always focused on helping folks build clarity and control with their money, and that truly makes a difference. When someone understands their finances, they make choices from a place of calm and confidence instead of fear.

But even the most empowered individual can’t self-help their way out of inequality. Real progress takes both personal agency and collective accountability.

When we pair personal clarity with collective advocacy, through policies like pay transparency, childcare access, and equitable workplaces, we start to see change that lasts.