Less Buying, More Belonging
🔍 Why Kin-Building Matters
Author Sophie Lucido Johnson describes kin as the people “to whom you’re deeply bound through all things; who are essential for your individual and collective survival.” These are the relationships that live somewhere between friend and family, chosen, reciprocal, and durable.
Kin-building asks us to push back on the myth that one romantic partner, one parent, or one household can meet every need. Instead, it encourages a network of relationships where care circulates, responsibilities are shared, and the load of everyday life feels lighter.
In a society that values rugged individualism, these bonds are acts of resistance.
📊 What the Research (and the Real World) Tell Us
One of Johnson’s most helpful ideas is her framework around shared resources, a reminder that sustainable community isn’t built on a single relationship but on shared networks of care.
What actually sustains us is the slow, steady work of tending relationships and letting people see the unpolished parts of who we are.
And crucially: we need more than one source of care. That doesn’t require non-monogamy; it requires honesty about the limits of any single relationship and the necessity of many.
💬 Communication as a Tool for Community
One of the most profound ideas in Johnson’s work is lateral communication treating relationships as non-hierarchical, where priorities shift in response to real life rather than rigid rankings.
Instead of assuming that romantic partners or family-of-origin relationships sit at the top, lateral communication honors the reality many of us already live:
We rely on coworkers during the hardest weeks of the year.
We trust old friends with our deepest grief.
We lean on neighbors during sick days or childcare scrambles.
This approach asks us to “notice out loud” to tell people what they mean to us, express needs before we hit crisis mode, and let more relationships in on the truth of who we are. That honesty builds intimacy, which builds safety, which builds community.
💭 Why This Matters for Our Financial Lives
Financial well-being doesn’t happen in a vacuum; it’s shaped by the people who support us, the communities where we live, and the social structures we rely on.
Kin-building reminds us that:
you don’t have to solve everything alone,
resilience grows in networks, not individuals, and
stability is a shared project, not a personal assignment.
Our financial lives feel less overwhelming when we are held (practically, emotionally, and logistically) by more than one person.
⚙️ Your Financial Action Step
Identify one person in your life who is part of your “kin,” and tell them what role they play for you.
It might sound like: “Hey, I realized you are the person I go to when I need perspective. I’m grateful for you.” Language makes relationships legible. Legibility makes support possible.
I’d love to hear from you, who are the people in your life who feel like kin? How are you thinking about community and support as we close out the year?
📚 Sources
Research on social support and well-being (American Psychological Association)
